My fears




Spiders. I have severe arachnophobia and even the tiniest of spiders will make me lose my fucking mind. I can't even go into the woods because I'm so afraid, and that sucks ass because gym teachers think forcing students to do orientation in the woods is a great idea. My childhood classmates knew how scared I was and they'd purposely find spiders just to chase me with them. But I have killed a few recently! Spiders, not classmates.


Ghosts and the supernatural in general. I feel like this is a common fear but probably not to the extent that I'm afraid of it. I'm so fucking paranoid, I have intrusive thoughts about ghosts coming for me and wanting to scare me all the damn time. Especially when I'm trying to sleep. I can't open doors at night out of fear of there being a demon on the other side. I can't look in mirrors for too long in case my reflection isn't really me. Can't close my eyes in the shower, can't sleep with my back facing the rest of my bedroom. All out of fear for ghosts.


Grown men. I don't feel like typing out my trauma lmao but yeah I'm really not comfortable in the presence of adult men. Of course it's not all of them, but the ones who I don't know and sometimes those I know of but have no personal connection to.


Open waters and things submerged in water (submechanophobia). Really sucks cause I love fishing, but I don't think I can do it anymore since I'm so scared of going on boats. Speaking of boats, I find them scary as hell too. Specifically big ones, like cruise ships and whatnot. In my town there's this canal thing you can walk next to, there's no damn railing, and in one spot there's a SHOPPING CART sitting at the bottom. It's visible from the surface and anytime I see it I feel like passing out.


The thought of something bad happening to my cat.


Death. The fact that nobody knows what comes after freaks me out and I'm always pressued to off myself at a young age, explaining it wouldn't make any sense and I'd just come off as crazy. But part of me wants to stick to the plan I made when I was 13, which is to kill myself once I turn 18.


I am deathly afraid of messing up and making my mom mad because she gets so fucking angry that it scares me.


Randomly losing contact with an online friend and not knowing what happened to them, or vice versa.


Going out in public, because I feel as if everyone's always staring at me and judging the way I look. I'm afraid of somehow embarrassing myself by stumbling or dropping something. I'm kinda clumsy, often bump into shit and being covered in bruises so I have to be really careful anytime I'm around other people.


Getting lost without being able to reach out to anyone or figure out where I am.


ZOMBIES. My fucking GOD I'm terrified of zombies. When I first started watching The Walking Dead it got me so fucking paranoid that I couldn't go outside without thinking a herd was gonna show up and start chasing me. I'd constantly look around and walk really fast, sometimes I started crying because I had so much anxiety. I have zombie apocalypse nightmares several times a month.