even after everything why do i so desperately want someone to just touch me i don't care how i just need to feel something kick me or hit me it's all the same i just need human contact these thoughts are filthy and i feel bad for having them i don't want them in my head even though putting them here isn't going to erase them it's better than being the only one aware of their existence or is it because now people will be able to read this and i'll be made fun of but why should i care i'm telling the universe what i want i'm telling the universe what i need i am putting it into words yet nothing will happen nothing will change because i have no impact or influence i'm just some sad lonely disgusting loser writing about how badly i want to feel things